Butterfly-Muse: Heart-break fixer-upper!

When you fall in love with someone who rejects your heart - (even after you lavishly offer it up on some priceless diamond platter) - do you know what is the next course of action? Here’s some Butterfly-Mused advice: throwing rocks at the perpetrator may feel like a perfectly valid response- but definitely don't do this! Besides it might not be legal. Lol. So- let's consider some more constructive options!

Now, first and foremost, if you must sit around moping with a broken heart - (which is totally your perogative and even recommended since the acknowledgement phase of experiences should never be skipped) - you will discover that when wounded your heart can quickly weigh heavier than all the globally distributed world trade center buildings combined and worse you may find that your stomach begins to bubble and churn like some massive volcano about to explode badly enough to go down in history for substantially destroying at least a few of the neighboring states....well why not indulge it…just a little bit!? Go ahead -give into some self-imposed dramatic misery… butterfly style of course.....which means that you’re on a timer here - so please pull out your calendars right away and plan it all out to a tee! And this actually counts towards phase one of the fixer-upper process!

Mark down how many days or weeks you would like to dedicate to your self-destructive action plan and how you would like each hour and day to look like precisely; for example you can say I give this heartache four weeks max (never more than that but if you can do it in less time, then more power to you, my friend!); Now during those four weeks say…I plan to listen to every sorry assed love song I can find to help me cry enough to spend up to $15 dollars max on Kleenex boxes…then I plan to torture at least two of my closest friends with endless repetitious painful stories (remember this has to be more painful for the listener than you; it’s a necessary evil!) about how your perpetrator was meant to be the one or pour out all the memories over and over again of all those things he or she said to warrant the delusions of true love on your part...after all it always starts off with perfect mutual attraction and mutual guilt responsibilities-Right!? That's just a given! Now your continued planning should include tormenting at least three of your most inquisitive or patient colleagues too! However far more importantly don't forget to utilize your best free resources out there! These are of course those innocent unsuspecting random by-passers; but do pick them carefully though...someone sitting right next to you on the metro or bus in rush hour is always ideal since they can't escape easily; perfect!! Now don't feel guilty about boring them to tears. Heck! It's not like you're going to see them again in any meaningful settings right so give them your best shot of psycho-analysis on what went wrong in the relationship! Feel free to annoy anyone in fact, anyone you don’t mind losing as a friend ….i.e. anyone who will never leave you or anyone you are not going to miss when gone. Ah! But do remember that karma's a female dog they say which means please be ready to return the favor someday or it will come back to bite you in the rear! Got it? So in turn you’ll be empathic to someone later! Done!

Now let's get down to business with more of the nitty-gritty details on the careful recovery planning path! Make sure you are getting a good healthy dose of nature at least once a week; long walks in the woods on your own or with a local meet-up group is crucial. Also on your list of things to do add some books to read the old fashioned way lying in bed or sitting under a tree; your booklist should include the following topics: meditation, exercise, self-help, comedy and… WTF why not add some sillier ones on dating jokes, advice and tips too…throw that in there for desert reading.

Voila! Now we can prepare for phase two of the process which needs to be documented carefully on your calendar as well: so once your mourning phase time runs out (and remember four weeks is the absolute max allowed; after all sadly there are people out there who are given less time by doctors on their death beds to put their last wishes together; so remember to pray for those poor souls and realize that your situation is only comically dire in the grand scheme of life; Agreed?).

So this is the next big thing Butterfly-Muse recommends: do something bold and out of character for yourself, such as, and if you can afford it is (and I don't just mean financially, but more importantly, physically, i.e., think -hot yoga classes, pilates, etc. in advance to prep your body for this first, but one fun idea is..) - to jump off a plane, tandem style! Yup you read right and yes- butterfly advice is crazy and yes it works! Do not attempt this though until you’re thoroughly done with phase one of heartbreak fixer-upper! Entering phase two via a proper tandem-jump is ideal for beginning to renew your spirit. If you are ready to do this, run a search for reviews and best deals. Yay! If you get an online discount via your Google search, for that deal, take that as a sign from the universe that your luck is already starting to change rapidly. After the jump when your feet touch the ground, your heart will be so vigorously stirred and shaken that it may have even pieced itself right back to a new and happy whole. You will love the high you will feel from it for a few days at least. This high is going to be greater than the memories of falling in love... but WAIT! Your brain is so shaken too that you may not remember who it was you were in love with in the first place…and memories of…what!? You might not remember immediately upon landing; No worries; leave it alone and enjoy the moment!

Next create a list of things to do that would challenge, petrify and/or excite you...things that you never thought you could do… think of facing your fears ideally ...but do it safely. Pick at least six crazy activities and go ahead try them! Surprise yourself! For example if you are afraid of closed dark spaces spelunking is a fantastic choice (wriggling through holes deep in the earth with a headlamp for a few hours at least!). If you can’t swim, sign up for some lessons at your local pool, with an end goal that's totally out of your comfort zone. I As an example, grab a life-jacket and a helmet and sign up for an organized whitewater kayaking adventure with friends. If you’re afraid of heights, try an indoor and outdoor rock climbing class. Fact is - there are so many amazing choices out there and you will love all of them. You will amaze yourself with what you can do when you put your mind and heart into it! Yes- we are indeed stronger than we ever realize!! And life is all that you make it.

Meanwhile whether you think you're in shape to run or not begin with investing in some proper running shoes, Google some tips on it and lace up to- RUN!! Run away from your pain, your memories and that fool who would actually reject you. Keep running and before you know it you will be too hot for him or her anyway...and with your new found adventures under your belt you're on your way to creating your own personal Indiana Jones movie, right? So go ahead and give yourself, the star of the show, a well-deserved bow! You know what’s the absolute best part of following all these steps? Through your adventures you will learn to love yourself, create a better you in mind, body and spirit, become your own best hero and inspiration, and know that even more than all that you will make a ton of new friends along the way who share your new found love and enthusiasm for life!