The Holiday season didn't always feel as cheery for me as it
does this year! YAY!!! Grateful!!
For many years the holidays left me feeling too nostalgic…even
sad and lost…as it resurfaced memories from India of Christmas’ spent with my
beloved now-deceased grandma and with my
dear brother, my ultra-fun aunts and uncles- all of whom I had gotten separated
from over three decades ago.
Then in 2008- Christmas brought new anxiety with a phone
call that changed everything! I learned that my mother suddenly passed away
unexpectedly but worse that it had already been at least three days since her death but none
of us had even realized it. The entire family was shocked, shaken and devastated!
I spent that Christmas Eve and the following day in a haze flying back to India alone, leaving my young son behind with his dad in Montreal. I hadn’t been back to India in decades! I wasn’t going to make it to the funeral but all of me just knew that it was time to go ….to that long awaited reunion with my family. You see I had spent too many delusional years believing that I was all alone and that all the ties and connections from my past were forever lost in time and space… believing this stupid saying that ‘there is no going back!’ But that’s so WRONG! The past, the present and the future-are all tied together and very much tangible within us! That reunion with my family in 2008 was the beginning to discovering all that matters-for me!
Now lo-and-behold- here we are at the end of 2014 and I can’t be more grateful or more in awe of where life has carried me since….or the peace and joy that I finally find in everything and everyone. Somehow something so tragic led me to a life I love and appreciate completely! It’s mind blowing, understanding all the blessings that are granted to each of us daily. It’s an amazing universe! An incredible world!-And OH-MY-GOSH! Indeed a precious gift of a life!
I spent that Christmas Eve and the following day in a haze flying back to India alone, leaving my young son behind with his dad in Montreal. I hadn’t been back to India in decades! I wasn’t going to make it to the funeral but all of me just knew that it was time to go ….to that long awaited reunion with my family. You see I had spent too many delusional years believing that I was all alone and that all the ties and connections from my past were forever lost in time and space… believing this stupid saying that ‘there is no going back!’ But that’s so WRONG! The past, the present and the future-are all tied together and very much tangible within us! That reunion with my family in 2008 was the beginning to discovering all that matters-for me!
Now lo-and-behold- here we are at the end of 2014 and I can’t be more grateful or more in awe of where life has carried me since….or the peace and joy that I finally find in everything and everyone. Somehow something so tragic led me to a life I love and appreciate completely! It’s mind blowing, understanding all the blessings that are granted to each of us daily. It’s an amazing universe! An incredible world!-And OH-MY-GOSH! Indeed a precious gift of a life!
My holiday season feels very different this year! My heart
feels…blatantly….unapologetically cheery!? Almost! I caught myself feeling a bit guilty for it….especially
given the horrors in the news..…asking if it’s ok to feel this? It seems I
cannot help sensing a profound sense of love, peace and joy in the universe all
around us and it is superseding any and all pain and sadness…which I do understand
also exists in varying degrees and times throughout all our lives..….But thank
goodness there is this understanding too that it’s not only ok but actually important
even to honor and celebrate life in all its glory! The holidays are meant for
this!
So- I have learned that the holidays can be tricky….until
you make peace with all that truly matters!
For this holiday season-I wish the following for everyone
everywhere….I hope you feel like a child watching jaw-dropping fireworks for
the first time,…..like you’re dancing to beautiful music that lifts up
your spirit all the way to the sun, the moon and the stars,….I hope your heart
sings like a poet falling in love….to the many harmonious beats of the
universe….and that you find yourself whistling tunes aloud without reason when you wake
up each magical day…..I pray that each of us shares and spreads the grandiose
feelings of love, peace and joy that is meant to mark the beauty of this season….and
that you can capture and preserve it inside you for now and for always! HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON EVERYONE!!!
Sending you all fantastic vibes!! CHEERS!!! <3
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! <3 |
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