Mirrors!!

Photo by: Julie De Waroquier (i.e. a lucky web surfing run in)

I haven’t been writing as much recently. Not because of lack of inspiration but that my reaction to this life and the world around me often leaves me in such a deep state of awe that it’s almost too much to process and put into words. Life! What an enchanting journey! What a truly incredibly beautiful blessing! So often taken so for granted! We operate with such small perspectives….but maybe that is the true magic of it all.....perhaps much like newborns, knowing nothing, we spend all of our lives in a state of grand discovery…..we laugh and we cry.…with each step we take we begin to trust in ourselves… learning to walk and then to dance…to love and then to be free….all the while discovering everything that’s amazing around us….and all done in so many cute and clumsy small steps and profound doses.

Recently I remembered a moment from my past and unimaginably so it hasn't even been five years since…..but it seems like another life time ago at least....I remembered a ghost of my own past at the end of a tight rope.….so completely broken and defeated, lying on the floor, bawling her eyes out in utter despair, her head was so dark and so lost as she wished she had never existed...hating her life…and she felt engulfed in pain, hatred and fear….she had no voice inside her to help her fight back… she hadn’t realized yet that the prison around her had become too weak to hold her in….she had been there so long she had stopped even trying…you see? I remembered this wish in her heart in that bleak moment wanting only for everything to end. Did I know then that it would be the last time in my life I would ever feel that way!!? I was about to change everything! The ghost of my past was about to break all the shackles that held her there!

That moment on this journey in retrospect was significant as some moments just are- more so than others! That memory for me now felt sad and odd!... Odd….because I couldn't relate to that person at all… Sad…..because I felt a powerful urge to reach back into the past, to lift up this woman who was so spiritually broken and wrecked on the floor and share with her the ultimate secret!

I wanted to tell her ‘My poor dear!  You are going about it all wrong! Life was never intended to be like that! Life is meant to be amazing!  You have no idea! You are meant to grow and build your spirit….you are meant to open your eyes and your heart to discover the magic all around you! Live-learn-love life! SEE all the wonderful people who exist around you.….because when you’re ready to look every one of them will hold up a bright and colorful lantern to light up your path and they will encouragingly smile as you pass through….into this enchanted time and space given to you. I wanted to tell her to never forget that life is a journey of discovery of all that’s unspeakably grand and beautiful! I wanted to tell her ‘Oh Man! You are going to love this ride! Just hold tight!!’

My blog doesn't share my entire story….which one day it just might….but when I started it I wished to share, as I still do, the simplest and grandest messages I have learned that have changed everything for me! We all have moments that may seem bleak and that’s when it’s most important to remember….every person you meet, knowingly or unknowingly, holds a lantern to help you pass, or lends a hand to guide you, or places a stepping stone before you…..when we are ready to look we will find mirrors in every stranger’s eyes. Don’t forget to look and don’t forget there is no prison your spirit cannot break through!

Learning-Living-Life- Inspired’s message today is: Smile for the people around you! & Enjoy your specially designed enchanted ride….whatever you do…..don’t close your eyes and miss the magic!!!! NAMASTE!!

P.S. I like this quote from Carl Jung: The unconscious is not just evil by nature, it is also the source of the highest good: not only dark but also light, not only bestial, semi-human, and demonic but superhuman, spiritual, and, in the classical sense of the word, "divine."

Reflection Ritual 2014/2015

I believe that every individual should take time at the end of a year to perform reflection rituals to honor past experiences, achievements and lessons learned over the previous annual cycle. I like to imagine myself waving bye to the previous year with tears and smiles as if I’m about to cross over a threshold at an airport check-in station, excitedly also preparing to embark on a new adventurous journey ahead…..I am filled with hope and a sense of ‘anything is possible’ wonderment about where we’re heading next even as I sense tremendous gratitude and peace about where we've been already and perhaps sadness too for what we may be unknowingly leaving behind also.

Happy Son in Dubai! PEACE!!! <3

I am convinced over the last few years that each year gets even better than the one prior! There is greater enlightenment awaiting us with every step! 2014 is no exception! It wasn't all smiles and laughs by any means….yet every experience was profound and I always knew that I was fittingly exactly where I was meant to be every step of the way.

Key experiences and lessons this year included acceptance of what is…..from the pain of seeing loved ones suffer from aging and sickness ….to …seeing a soul family inspiration-ally cope in extraordinary ways united in dealing with difficult stages of life,….to learning to let go of what was not meant to be,…to seeing the miraculous healing powers of forgiveness,….to experiencing continuous amazing transitions….. personally from my move to a new home, a new town and mostly from watching my son find peace and blossom at his new school especially after struggling for so many years with his parents’ separation/divorce. One universal message remained unwaivering in my psyche…..the knowledge that we are never alone and that love envelops us…..always gently smiling and welcoming us to tune in!

GRATEFUL! BIG TIME! THANK YOU 2014! & WISHING EVERYONE A PHENOMENALLY MAGICAL YEAR AHEAD!!! PEACE! LOVE! HAPPINESS!!!

CHEERS & WELCOME 2015!!

How does one share an entire year in pictures! So many fabulous memories to choose from that I am incredibly grateful for! Here are some random ones (not necessarily in chronological order for the year) I will treasure forever from my life in 2014!

Thanks for sharing this amazing life journey together!!! XOXO

Although 2014 didn't leave time enough for us to walk the same continent together I continue to be eternally grateful for my soul-mate sister who is always right beside me every step of the way through all our laughs, tears and 'AHA!' moments!

First Car Camping Trip- March 2014

Another long awaited family reunion in Dubai 

A continuously expanding soul family = Several Heart Warming & Fun Gatherings-=Thank Goodness!! 

Family Day at the pool- Dubai

First visit to MEXICO!!! YAY!!!

Jumping Into & Swimming in Cenotes! More bucket list items down!!! 

Finding a new friend and soul sister to share new adventures with @ Chichen Itza!! <3

Grateful to my soul family for celebrating another birthday with me and making it extra special

Pure Love, Pure Bliss-=More Family to love!!!

More celebrations on and off the trails :-)

Hike & Meditation with great friends = Best 4th of July Ever!!!

Thankful for spending more time with this lovely soul sister! 

Best office Party Ever!! 1920's Themed at National Building Museum in D.C!! 

Thanksgiving with Soul Family is becoming a fabulous tradition! <3

A Magical Morning in November on the most spiritual lake I know!!

There were many amazing experiences in nature -countless gorgeous hikes, jumping into surreal cenotes in the Mexican jungles, swimming in the oceans bordering Mexico, Dubai or even locally etc..there were indeed many adventures along the way....- all year long......and thank goodness there were many new bonds of friendship created and older bonds of friendship strengthened....every step of the way.....leaving incredibly priceless memories to treasure for life!!

WHAT AN INCREDIBLY FANTASTIC LIFE IT IS!! <3

Holiday Reminiscing!!!

The Holiday season didn't always feel as cheery for me as it does this year! YAY!!! Grateful!!

For many years the holidays left me feeling too nostalgic…even sad and lost…as it resurfaced memories from India of Christmas’ spent with my beloved now-deceased grandma and with  my dear brother, my ultra-fun aunts and uncles- all of whom I had gotten separated from over three decades ago. 

Then in 2008- Christmas brought new anxiety with a phone call that changed everything! I learned that my mother suddenly passed away unexpectedly but worse that it had already been at least three days since her death but none of us had even realized it. The entire family was shocked, shaken and devastated!

I spent that Christmas Eve and the following day in a haze flying back to India alone, leaving my young son behind with his dad in Montreal. I hadn’t been back to India in decades! I wasn’t going to make it to the funeral but all of me just knew that it was time to go ….to that long awaited reunion with my family. You see I had spent too many delusional years believing that I was all alone and that all the ties and connections from my past were forever lost in time and space… believing this stupid saying that ‘there is no going back!’ But that’s so WRONG! The past, the present and the future-are all tied together and very much tangible within us! That reunion with my family in 2008 was the beginning to discovering all that matters-for me!

Now lo-and-behold- here we are at the end of 2014 and I can’t be more grateful or more in awe of where life has carried me since….or the peace and joy that I finally find in everything and everyone. Somehow something so tragic led me to a life I love and appreciate completely! It’s mind blowing, understanding all the blessings that are granted to each of us daily. It’s an amazing universe! An incredible world!-And OH-MY-GOSH! Indeed a precious gift of a life!

My holiday season feels very different this year! My heart feels…blatantly….unapologetically cheery!? Almost! I caught myself feeling a bit guilty for it….especially given the horrors in the news..…asking if it’s ok to feel this? It seems I cannot help sensing a profound sense of love, peace and joy in the universe all around us and it is superseding any and all pain and sadness…which I do understand also exists in varying degrees and times throughout all our lives..….But thank goodness there is this understanding too that it’s not only ok but actually important even to honor and celebrate life in all its glory! The holidays are meant for this!

So- I have learned that the holidays can be tricky….until you make peace with all that truly matters!

For this holiday season-I wish the following for everyone everywhere….I hope you feel like a child watching jaw-dropping fireworks for the first time,…..like you’re dancing to beautiful music that lifts up your spirit all the way to the sun, the moon and the stars,….I hope your heart sings like a poet falling in love….to the many harmonious beats of the universe….and that you find yourself whistling tunes aloud without reason when you wake up each magical day…..I pray that each of us shares and spreads the grandiose feelings of love, peace and joy that is meant to mark the beauty of this season….and that you can capture and preserve it inside you for now and for always! HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON EVERYONE!!! Sending you all fantastic vibes!! CHEERS!!! <3

HAPPY HOLIDAYS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! <3

Healing Affirmations!

We all know that the right affirmations can be freeing and healing in incredibly magical ways so I try to practice it regularly.

Gratitude Affirmations! Those are my go-to ones and my list is endless! Thank Goodness!! No pun intended but you see the pattern-right? Lol! Whether I credit it to my nature or nurture it’s somehow always there….perhaps it’s because my life experiences as a female began in India and then the Middle East before migrating off to the US in my late teens….so I don’t take much for granted….whether being able to go out of the house without covering up head to toe, or having a career, or driving, or being able to say what I’m thinking, or even having the right to hold on to my beliefs...(let aside the many billions of other blessings that we experience with every breath every day).

However I recently stumbled upon an entirely new category of affirmations which overnight lifted a veil of darkness and pain inside me that I wasn't even aware of holding on to. Naturally I feel inspired to add this to my blog to share with everyone!  Perhaps everyone should try it!!!? These are- Forgiveness Affirmations!!

It happened a few nights ago as I was going through a random habitual gratitude list in preparation of hopefully falling into a deep slumber…when a brilliant thought snuck in somehow that I should create a forgiveness affirmations list….and even as I thought this I was telling myself that I have no one to forgive…no one I am holding grudges against….but an inner deeper voice pushed further by saying ‘but if I had people to forgive who would I forgive and why’ so I went with it. I started with ‘I forgive.…( A)… for (something)… and I wish (him/her) the best of everything sincerely deeply always’….and to my horror there was indeed a list!!! _ And worse!! My heart could barely create a sincere wish for these people on my covert list. So I tried to say it aloud to hear myself repeat the thought and OMG! Horror of horrors! I was almost choking over the sentences….making me realize that I was indeed still harboring residual anger, pain and issues around a few individuals from my past. Who knew!!! So I worked on it…repeating the affirmations softly aloud to myself over and over until it sounded natural and felt completely sincere. I finally fell into a deep restful sleep for the night.

Voila! The next morning as I was driving to work it dawned on me that I felt happier and freer than imaginable! My energy had shifted in some incredibly powerful way! As if there was an entire river inside me that was blocked and suddenly was blissfully rushing off to join the ocean. I felt almost elated! Incredible!!! Something so simple and TaDA!! Profound healing!!

So-is it possible that you too have wounds so deeply forgotten scaring your soul and holding you back in ways you didn’t even know? See- I believe that we all process experiences in very similar ways (remember my 'rainbow spectrum of emotions' analogy from a previous post?)…..and more importantly I believe that we can learn from each other….so I share hoping this helps someone else find their bliss with a simple exercise like practicing forgiveness or gratitude affirmations….or perhaps creating a whole new category….anything....just as long as it swiftly delivers for you too peace, happiness and healing! 

P.S. HAPPY HOLIDAYS to ALL!!! <3  
(& Yes- I did take these pictures of Lake Drummond...recently in November 2014. :-)

Lows & Highs!

Nobody said it’s going to be easy hmmm…..yeah….heard that one before right?

Sure the road can get bumpy…..and sometimes inspiration lies dormant…..buried deep inside, forgotten and waiting to be discovered all over again!

Somebody asked why I hadn’t written in my blog recently. I responded that I don’t write unless I feel positively inspired. See- life is neither always up nor always down….but I usually believe in sharing only the upbeat.

However this also reminds me of an incredibly powerful message from one of the most influential women in my life. In a fleeting moment of deep sharing I had said to her sympathetically ‘I’m so sorry for all that you’ve been through! Nobody should have to go through that!’ and she responded smiling ‘Oh! But Baby- You are missing the point; it’s not about having a life better or worse than another; it’s about the path given to us each to follow!’ Hmm...But Wait!! -What!!!?  Just about the path!!? I am left pondering if this means it’s all about the lessons learned along the way....or perhaps not even…. perhaps it's just about the experiences- as in blink, miss a beat or don’t!?

We may not always understand everything that happens to us but I guess it’s best to buckle up and be ready for the ride regardless! Sometimes all that matters is to keep it simple....as in stay centered (i.e. breathe deeply!), hold the faith (i.e. believe in everything good against the odds!) and remain connected (i.e. stick to our tribe…..after all together we go further! Guaranteed!).

Fall! My favorite season! Here's wishing us all the best towards keeping things simple along the way!! 

Cheers!! 

First time Spelunking!

I started blogging a couple of months after I had my first spelunking adventure (I say 'first' because I may actually be crazy enough to do this again). The reason I signed up for it...other than happily agreeing to follow my friend Suzi just about anywhere including the deepest depths of an abyss...turns out literally......but actually I signed up to face one of my lifetime phobias. One I've struggled with throughout my childhood...a deathly fear of dark, closed and/or crowded spaces. 

Voila! It so happens that I documented my thoughts from that spelunking experience within the immediate twenty four hours following the adventure, to share with friends and family on Facebook. 

It makes sense to add this onto my blog. 

TaDA!! A flash back to my spelunking adventure from September 2013:

"Spelunking or cave discovering I have learned is by far the craziest adventure I’ve signed up for in my life-EVER…YET!! I don’t think I would have ever imagined that I’d have a day where I’d repeatedly announce over a period of several hours my eternal gratitude for the discovery of a helmet. Thank goodness indeed for the helmet…and also thank goodness for the solid plastic knee pads (whatever those are officially called?)!! 

Of course I didn’t realize I’d signed up for eight plus hours (that’s right! Eight+ hours!!) of non-stop crawling, squeezing or reptile like slithering of my body through all kinds of uneven, tight, small, dark, slippery wet and icy cold spaces within our planet. 

Who knew my spine and neck could even withstand all of this (go figure!) or that I could actually use nothing more than my stomach and mere willpower to move me through those tight scary spaces at times when all my limbs were twisted and entrapped like a broken ragged doll in a very tight box. 

Well so much for facing my fear of crowded, closed or dark spaces! Done! 

Claustrophobic no more!! 

Happy to announce that!!

Highlights included playing earth worm for eight hours in that wet sticky clay like mud that we were crawling through the entire time; having our tummies and faces dipped into icy cold pools of water (my friend refers to those as 'ice-kaka pools'...kaka I think stands for sh*t from other languages. Yikes!!).

The occasional ultra-smooth slippery spaces that had us convinced we were going to fall and plumage to our deaths any minute (as there were some dark endless scary pits around for real!); to our fingers and toes being numb from the cold, while our teeth were clattering away incessantly on and off while we waited for the others in turns to squeeze through the same holes anxiously while listening to their screams, cries and curses…BIG YIKES!!

Ah! And the young twenty something year olds who looked like Abercrombie ad-models all signed out and abandoned us after the first few hours. To be fair there was some bits of blood and tears involved here! 

And- Me!!? I was perfectly happy to tuck my tail under so to speak too and quietly follow behind but my brave friend Suzi would have none of that! Bless her soul! Thank goodness for our guide Darwin too (for his patience...knowledge...)... for ensuring we came out of this in one piece with all our body parts intact still. 

Thank goodness for sunlight and bright open spaces! Oh wait! I’m digressing! 

Highlights also included being tied to a rope (in case we slipped off and broke our jaws…who needs teeth anyway!?) while being let down or climbing back up a heart pounding thirty feet drop into eternal darkness; Well! Talk about a fast lesson in rock climbing! What with wet muddy shoes, icy-cold slippery surfaces…and the encouraging comforting voices from friends in the darkness telling you-you can do this even after you realized your life was actually in danger! Yup! We made it!!! Eight plus hours through eerie mystical Hades!! Yup- the place really exists!!!

Today I have invisible bruises head to toe! My ribs, my pelvic bones, my arms, my neck and pretty much all surface areas of skin are a bit sensitive to sunlight and touch!! Also I can't seem to scrub the smell of mother earth's guts out of me, regardless of aromatic soaps or number of showers....and my eyesight is still adjusting back to the concept of daylight-proper....Yet I feel like the Indian Indiana Jones! Fears conquered and alive to talk about it!! YAY!!!"-

AND...YES I totally recommend experiencing this at least once in your lifetime - and if you're lucky go with a true Indiana Jones style spirited guide like Darwin....but please do NOT try this without a guide regardless! 

KIDS- DO NOT TRY THIS ALONE! 

Links to pictures from this trip added below. Although after the first four hours we forgot to diligently take pictures to document things like the thirty feet drop (which requires a separate write up in itself- the near-death life experience and drop etc.)- understandably. We focused instead on staying alive and other silly priorities like that. GULP! 

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10201897146608831.1073741845.1188765488&type=1&l=99089ca3e8

Summer-Movin'!!

HELLO!!!! I meant to post a blog in August… but Man! Good part of this summer seems to have totally slipped by me! Then again….No! Not really! Two months were focused around coordinating a residential move! I got a lot done this summer…from searching for and finding my new place to leaving my old one etc..!

Since I’m one of those people that went from a very sheltered and controlled upbringing to a similar set-up through most of my adult married life….I seem to have spent the last few years since my separation and divorce practicing standing on my own two feet per say figuratively and profoundly. I’ve been working on finding my voice, my thoughts, my entire sense of self…etc. etc…and it’s all going very well!! :-)

Since I’ve been blessed with a new chance at living….I could relate to 'Little Mermaid' standing on magical mother earth for the first time with her two initially wobbly but soon to be fabulously strong legs.  BIG YAY!! Strong legs I have found too thank goodness!!...And speaking of fairytales… I can also relate to Goldilocks’ experiences with testing out the three bear’s habitat. Getting started a few years ago I first moved into a fully furnished place which I loved but it didn’t feel right, then I moved into my first apartment the second year which I filled up with basic semi-functional (as in it looks good but breaks easily) Ikea furnishings….it felt comfortable but really not quite there….then this time….finally I moved into a small townhouse…which all clichés aside… it really does feel like home…in an incredibly cozy and spiritual sense! Grateful so much! Like Goldie loving all that belonged to little bear this little house fits me so perfectly right here right now! <3

I tackled my move a bit uniquely. First I spent a couple of weeks prior to the move getting rid of all my furniture and most of my physical belongings. Scary but liberating too…that when you closely evaluate everything in your space you quickly realize that you really don’t need much of it after all…Go figure!.…I deemed this my ‘Feng-Shui project’!  This process was intense and interesting mentally and physically …surprisingly reflective, draining, uplifting and totally cleansing in every imaginable way.…helping me to let go of lots more than I realized. Going through stuff I discovered old letters from my now deceased mother and from my ex which were like finding windows into my soul..almost literally… It helped shed a few tears over baggage I didn’t even realize I was carrying in the first place. What a privilege of an experience it’s been! I found a lot of peace through the process for sure!

Then came the next project of refurnishing my new space from scratch with a strict budget...which was of course exhausting and challenging but also incredibly illuminating and refreshing for my soul.

This project held new found intrigue and obsession for me as I was inspired to fill my home with things that I carefully and thoughtfully picked out piece by piece. Interesting that I have never taken such dedication towards setting up a home before! Go figure! I have decided that everyone should experience caring about setting up a physical home space at least once in their lifetime…and I am glad for this experience! I realized I wanted my furniture to have purpose...as in to feel inviting... to say ‘come, sit, relax and talk to me’…versus…it just serves it’s very basic purpose.….just because it does!!...You know what I mean!!?

Crazy thing is that somewhere deep down I think I was curious to see what I would create…what colors or theme I would choose and why, what wall décor would best represent who I am becoming…..It even left me rather anxious… to see the final outcome….as if I was unveiling my own soul layer by layer in the process….as if in the end I would find a mirror to peek into…to find myself….to find me who was once lost and now found…. Wondering how could I have gotten through so many years allowing myself to not know who I am really or what I want to stand for..…Yup it sounds odd but the house felt like a significant project for this stage of my life.

Interestingly enough yesterday as I placed one of the last pieces of décor onto the wall I asked my son his opinion on it…and he said he loved it. I was relieved as I said ‘Ok so it’s not crazy then!’ To this he responded ‘OH but of course it’s crazy Mom…and daring even….which is perfect…because it represents you… it suits your personality.’ What an odd thing to hear from my eleven year old! LOL!

The coolest thing too is that in finding myself….I am also finding many of my soul friends and family who share my values…many it turns out even live in my new neighborhood.…what an incredibly luxurious blessing! Amazing that people and places I feel are starting to reflect back my daily choices….to promote comfort, peace, love and harmony. I can’t believe there was a time when I believed nothing mattered…to now when I believe that everything does.…and absolutely Everyone! Now more than ever my gratitude list never ceases to grow or amaze me. I am home!

Loving-living- life-inspired!
Namaste! XO