Honoring 2021! One flew over the cuckoo's nest! Or did they?

2021! What a year!

We all patiently waited for the pandemic to end and to come out of quarantine for the first part.

Offices started setting dates of return to on-site work. Anxiety continued to build as we wondered if we would remember how to assimilate again into corporate-world-society, and how we would adjust to leaving behind family members again- to only seeing them in the nights and weekends. Knowing what we know now- how would we cope with the madness of rush-hour traffic and office politics and paying for rapidly increasing gas prices in order to return to that old way of life we used to know pre-pandemic? Will there be a balance- based on the new lessons learned or will it all soon be forgotten? 

Yet the Universe had a different agenda again.

Well- so maybe someone flew over the cuckoo's nest or maybe no-one did but 2021 carried it's own special brand of madness, blessings and excitement.

The very first week of the new year landed us right smack and center inside what should be described as the set of a Steven Spielberg movie. 

In the US especially we found ourselves not only in more political turmoil and uncertainty but in a spectacular total-social-meltdown of chaos situation, right off the bat. The whole world tuned in and we all glued ourselves to our TV sets in horror and disbelief as we watched history unfold with the Capitol riots on January 6th. 

If 2020 stole the show with a surreal global pandemic and BLM, then 2021 put up strong competition with new Covid variants and a fantastical Spielberg worthy unraveling of US politics.

We watched -anxious and spellbound- to see where the 2021 plot would lead us to next. Would there be an announcement any minute of extraterrestrial invasions? Or of some catastrophic comet landing? Afterall surrealism and suspense was becoming common place experiences. 

Yet this was not a Spielberg movie set. The spectacles were real and eventually it left us grateful because neither aliens nor that deadly comet arrived- putting it all back in perspective. 

The Universe strives for balance, for better or worse, regardless of our wants or wishes, or even our understanding or acceptance. So we adapt. We get on with the program and go with the flow. And that's how we rose to the challenge, getting through another day, another week, another month and another year- all over again- often holding our breaths as we embraced the unknowns.

For David and me- we felt incredibly fortunate for our respective corporate worlds, our jobs and our leaders. We found ourselves working for ethical organizations that rose up to the challenge too. We completed a second full year in quarantine, working from home together. Blessings we don't take for granted. 

In the months to follow, much of the chaos subsided as the politics settled in the US.

The darkness of winter lifted and the brightness of spring and summer months emerged, keeping in chorus with the energy and the events of the year. 

2021's own special songs, bells and whistles played on as she danced with us restless folks as we took many uncertain steps along the way, as we dipped our toes back into the outside world, to catch up with friends and family again. Vaccines were flowing and families were reuniting. Awkward and warm reunion hugs ensued as many of us cautiously broke out of quarantine. 

Highlights from 2021 for our nuclear family covered massive milestones as follows: 

First quarter of the year- we bought our first home together! The first several months flew by in a flash - with us renovating and decorating our new home, closing out on our rental lease and moving away from suburban and city life, and into the countryside by end of March, all while managing crazy full work schedules from home. 

Yup- this was a very busy year!

Second quarter flew by again in another flash- as we watched the daughter graduate from university and the son graduate from high school. 

J

Graduations were followed by another big bitter-sweet milestone- where my son moved out to the dorms- accompanied with lots of tears of dreams, nostalgia, pride, gratitude, hopes, wishes and love. 

Over the summer we also got to celebrate two magical weddings with dear soul family. 

Mark & Chaw's Wedding <3 

Lyndal & Jeremy's Wedding in Colorado- which I got to officiate (my first time doing that!) <3 

Weddings also are a time of reunion- which translated into a couple of great hikes with soul family in the mountains of Colorado.

Also marking our first airplane trip since the onset of the quarantine.

Another milestone this year was that David and I stood up to a bully uncharacteristically, determined to apply our lessons in life of not playing victim (although usually it is easier to just walk away- lol), - and we won! 

Thank you Universe for the lessons and for the rewards when applied in the right ways.  

Overall- this is most definitely a big year for us- pandemics and quarantines - milestones and all!  

2021 We are Gratefu! 

Thank you for keeping us and most of our friends and families safe this year, and for getting us this far!  🙏❤️

HONORING 2020! A late entry for an unusual year!

HONORING 2020 - (Even if it's a year too late in entry on the blog)

It seems appropriate that 2020 and 2021 be stacked together and honored like twins, right? 

The two years of quarantines and pandemics and new variants of Covid! WOW! Who could have seen all this coming? Other than Bill Gates and where-ever and whom-ever scientists that he gathers his data from, I suppose.

2020's Agenda & Us!

Because sometimes you have an agenda and other times an agenda has you! 

Ironically- rewind back to December 2019- when my son convinced us to watch a documentary called- 'Explained' on Netflix, where we listened to Bill Gates' fascinating theories and predictions about how the question wasn't 'if' there was going to be a world-wide pandemic but really 'when'. 

Little did we know how appropriate it was to watch that documentary when we did! But of course, in the following weeks we forgot all about it as life got busy quickly as it usually does. 

In January 2020- I started a new job with a fantastic philanthropic company that aligned perfectly with my world-view and I was surrounded with colleagues and leaders who are both smart and kind. So- things were looking up!

March 2020- Quarantine happened! For the first time ever the world shut down. We figured it may be a day or two, a week....or two..., a month....or two, and so on- as we held our breath collectively- with the whole world- waiting day to day. 

Travel was banned. Restaurants were closed. And I worked on accepting a new found anxiety- one that was a mix of gratitude, fear and guilt.

Gratitude- because I had been rushing to and from a job for my entire life, as far back as I could remember since my teen years and here for the first time ever- it stopped. I got to spend quality time at home with my husband and son. We talked, we played board games, we watched TV shows, we bonded- and it all seemed quite surreal. 

Fear- because of all the uncertainty- of course. 

Guilt- because I was also enjoying time with my family, not having to commute through rush hour traffic daily and I couldn't get over witnessing sunshine and daylight inside my rented condo. It baffled me how we lived our lives- so rushed and so not  present day in and day out the way we always have- up to now. 

2020 = Quality Family Time & Priceless Bonding Moments <3

May 2020- Black Lives Matter Movement eclipsed the pandemic- with the sudden murder of George Floyd- which followed with light being shed on one hate crime after another. Anxiety builds!

As the months followed we got restless and determined to escape. This to us meant that we needed to travel- quarantine or not! So we got creative! No air-travel- no problem! Instead we drove to different states- covering NC, TN and PA and played tourists responsibly with masks and social distancing. 

 

AND the days became weeks, weeks became months and before we knew it- we were saying goodbye to 2020 and welcoming in 2021- still in quarantine!

HELLO 2021! 

Honoring 2019 - Blessings

Is life ever easy? The answer depends on perspective, of course.

I have made it a religious practice to stop and review each year as it comes to a close. I believe it's an important exercise for everyone to try. It always surprises me how I may find a theme, a story, a sense of purpose from each experience, as I review my year. As the months piece together in retrospect, it's like watching puzzle pieces fall into place. It's an exercise that leaves me with a profound sense of understanding and overall deeper appreciation for the good and the bad.

2019 was an intense year and I did not experience it at my best. I spent several months bogged down in fear, I watched bad behaviors and injustices and doubted when to stand up for what's right and pondered over the price that we all pay for all our choices. Then again, I also witnessed the power of good intentions especially when teamed up together. I met some incredible new souls, just as I walked away from those that didn't serve my path further.

If you'd asked me to describe this year, only a couple of months back, I would have said that in many ways it was one of the toughest years of my adult life (which is saying something, because it's never a walk in the park anyway, is it? Then again, that's never the point regardless.). However, as I look back on the past twelve months, now I find myself in awe as I realize that this may also be described as the best year of my adult life, as I have never before felt more loved, connected and supported as I have in 2019.

I strongly believe that our blessings always outweigh all experiences, good or bad.

There is a lot I am grateful for - from quality time with family and friends, to time spent in the forest trekking in great company, to new and old friends on my path, but most of all, this year for me, I am amazed to watch how much my son has blossomed along the way, and is even joining us on the trails.

If I could capture my year in pictures, the essence of 2019, for me lies in the two below-

THANK YOU FAMILY & FRIENDS!

THANK YOU 2019!

THANK YOU UNIVERSE!

One Plus One is Not Two

It's been almost six years since I started this blog, so I could share my Eureka moments, because for the first time in my adult years I was finally starting to show up awake for experiences in everyday life.

Over the last four years, however, I started writing less and less. Mainly because of a lack of time but also because the lessons I was learning repeatedly took me longer to accept.

They say we learn from our mistakes; but the truth is that we learn all the time, from all sorts of unexpected experiences. We are left constantly processing conflicting messages that can easily leave us exponentially more confused over time. 

For example, life has taught me that innocent people can get caught in the crossfire randomly, that doing the right thing may cost somebody an arm and a leg, or worse, and that life just isn’t easy - because bad things happen and it can happen to anybody at any time. There are no absolute rules and formulas in life because there are never any guarantees. Every choice we make is a chance we take, in the hopes of reaching some desired outcome, while holding our breath and praying that it works.

So, we learn to adjust what we think we know at every step; and often the biggest challenge lies in just staying positive and finding peace within ourselves, which not only translates to prioritizing saving what matters most- i.e. our souls, but also to being available to do right by others.

The path to re-centering after each storm and cleansing my energy again and again, I have found however, does follow a dependable formula – For me, that is taking the time to meditate, reviewing my gratitude list and finding the strength inside to keep moving; But the formula only works if applied after indulging myself in reflection of self and surroundings, giving myself permission to wallow in the confusing experiences, acknowledging my thoughts and feelings, without judgement towards myself or others, and then when I allow all that to wash over me, I am ready to apply the predictive formula towards healing and rebuilding. Staying positive comes easier to me but staying present however has always been a huge challenge so I am grateful for this formula.

My dear and wise husband always says that every choice we make adds towards creating the kind of world that we want ourselves and our children to live in. I love the sense of control that this belief gives me, especially when I am feeling powerless or saddened by the senseless injustices that I see happening all around me.   

Yes, life is not easy and it is much easier to get lost in that fact, but the real work that is required from us, I believe, is to make an effort daily, mindfully, to be at our best, to see the best in everything and everyone…..because perception becomes reality, and an illusion of control becomes more than an illusion.

In seeing the good around us, we build our faith in it, which in turn creates an abundance of goodness for ourselves and others. This is within our power, to choose and to create goodness.

GOODBYE 2018! Lesson Learned- Do NOT feed the bullies!!

I want to write about what I learned this last year about dealing with bullies, more specifically about how I finally learned what in me brings out the bully in some people.

My breakdown:

• Step one is to recognize the bully and their behavioral patterns
• Step two is to figure out what you are doing to inflame or feed the bully
• Step three is to find peace in how you handle it, i.e. there are options

OK! So right about now my fifteen-year old son interrupted me to ask:

‘So Mom- what are you doing?’

 ‘I’m writing about how to deal with bullies.’

He says:

‘What!? Why? You should not be writing about that. You get bullied ALL the time; you are the worst person to write about it.’ 

(Grrrr….)

I tell him:

‘But Hunny! That is exactly why I’m the right person to write about this since I finally learned how to not get bullied’

He says: 

‘But did they not teach you this stuff in school? Everyone in my school knows this already.’

The teen’s advice breaks down as follows:

• Don’t feed into it when they bait you with insults. Walk away.
• Show no emotion or reaction. Don’t take it personally.
• Avoid them. Their opinion is just that - an opinion.
• If it gets too much, tell your teacher, or in your case, tell their superior.

Alright! So my kid stole my thunder here but he’s right! 

Well - so no - nobody taught me this stuff growing up! Bullying was part and parcel of my daily life and not at school but at home, from family members.

Anyway earlier this summer I had my Aha! moment when I realized that I was dealing with a bully. Putting a label on this person's behaviors became a grand revelation in itself. I got so excited upon figuring this out that I went on to immediately phone my husband to share the big news. I was so proud of myself for this Eureka moment, although he didn’t seem to appreciate the significance of it - at least not right away. 

For me it was like figuring out pieces of a formula that I had been struggling with for years. Once I identified the situation, I was able to immediately formulate solutions to handle it better.

So here and now as a strong and capable adult – the next logical step was to figure out the other half of that equation- ‘what about me sets it off in this person?’ It didn’t take me long to connect the dots and understand that it was my demeanor. I was reacting to my bully, wanting to please, wanting to do anything just to make them stop. Dare I even admit that I was reacting out of fear?  That I often feel a need to appease?  I was.

Now the last and final step was to calculate the solution. I’m not a fighter and I avoid hostile confrontations. This bully was not open to peaceful or authentic conversational type approaches so those had to get ruled out. Then it intuitively came to me. I realized that I could control my reactions instead. I decided the simple answer was to take a mental break in the moment, when I’m under attack. I needed to detach and softly focus on my breathing to disconnect from the situation.

Now it was time to take this carefully crafted solution to the test. 

During our very next interaction, I applied this method. I remembered to breathe and remove myself from the line of fire.

Lo-and-behold- it worked right away. I noticed that it threw off the bully. I watched them start to lose their steam. They started to waiver and even take on a more respectful tone towards me. Incredible to watch it all come together in action like that.

Big ‘AHA’ moment in my world! If only I’d figured it out sooner! Or at least known to go to my kid for advice a lot sooner apparently- Eh!? Go figure.  

Anyhow another big lesson out of all this was that I did not need to fight back or confront the bully head-on, or even walk away because those are not always options in all situations - right?  

Managing the bully took subtle changes in my physical reaction, breathing slowly to create calmness was enough. It allowed me to stop, to sit back and quietly observe that the bully creates unnecessary drama, which is not so much intimidating as just monotonous and rather ridiculous, like watching a little child throwing a tantrum for no reason.

So perhaps it is through our own eyes then that the bully can see themselves - because it becomes clear to the both of us that the bully holds no power!

STAY STRONG! YOU GOT THIS!

LEARNING- LIVING- LIFE- INSPIRED