Honoring & Reflecting on -2015!

GOODBYE & THANK YOU- 2015:

Time to reflect upon yet another year....to tally up on the loses and the gains... and with some luck even pick up and save some souvenirs (memories and lessons) from it all.

So if I spent a good part of my journey in a spiritually cocooned phase then obviously the last five years have left me with much to catch up on...fast! 2015 took it up a few notches I'm thinking. :-/

So here's my reflection on 2015...in gratitude always.

JANUARY

Apparently the first thing I felt compelled to do going into 2015 was to return to my roots...(only to realize it was not a single step but quite a process)....which  took a few tries to balance out.

Yup! Was talking about my hair. :-p

But Hey! Aren't most things deeply connected though?
By end of year I have to believe this was symbolic. :-)

Dec 2014...



Jan 2015...
Me, my hair and my journey ;-)

So my year started off with my fun routines...lots of great hikes and fabulous folks around me.

Austin & Furnace & Black Rock Hike- Shenandoah National Park

SNP in mid January

Duncan Knob on a wet cold January day with sleet and rain. BRRR.....

FEBRUARY

February arrived with endless promise. Heading into Valentine's week especially there was romance in the air everywhere seemingly....a close friend asked me to officiate their wedding.... I felt honored and overjoyed. Then someone cute asked me out on a date. Even an old significant flame from my past life reached out unexpectedly offering  healing and closure for old wounds and scars.... a definite theme here....for the opening of the heart chakra. 

Gem sighting- Shenandoah National Park

But life would be boring without the twists and turns right? The date...Well...it just didn't feel quite right for me. That was totally cool. The big hit though was that my dear friend's wedding broke off under heart-breaking, unfortunate circumstances....and the romance in the air with it faded out.

Frozen waterfalls in Ricketts Glenn Park, PA

MARCH 

As always life plows on though and the winds never blow in the same directions consistently....for better or for worse -Right? So March brought in a much needed soul-refreshing -long awaited- visit from my childhood best friend and soul sister from Turkey-after over a year apart. Basak is here!! YAY!

Together Again!! YAY!! <3 :-)

Soul Friends-Soul Family- Things are looking up again

Hanging with my son and my best friend- Life is Good!

My little dude keeps growing faster than ever this year :-/ 

APRIL

Grateful for the last big hikes I got to squeeze in into this month....because right about now my feet started to have all kinds of booboos and issues....which disheartened me....so instead of resting it out a bit... I stubbornly ignored the pain and kept going. 

15 very strenuous miles up- Three Ridges- in GWF ended with me limping in agony- but still was fun....mostly...? :-/

Three Ridges- George Washington Forest

Basak left to visit other friends across the US- but returned few weeks later....just in time to catch the lovely DC cherry blossoms before her return to Turkey. 

There were a few more big aggressive hikes I pushed myself through ignoring the issues with my feet...Well...I learn eventually to listen to my body....but not yet....not that easily.

Squeezed in a hike at Great Falls MD side with Basak

I < 3 Turtle Sightings 

My 20 miles hike with my soul sister Jojo was gorgeous with bluebells in full boom everywhere
BUT
I was officially limping in agony for 14 of the last of those miles. OUCHIE!!! OUCHIE!! BIG TIME OUCHIE!!

MAY

Another memorial month for sure... from hiking in the Great Smokies of TN (which ROCKED! Even though it was saying goodbye to our precious soul family Sandy- who moved away to Montana- it was still a magical trip all around). 

There was quality kid time with a day trip also with my son at Busch Gardens (no easy feat! This kid does not part easily from the desktop station at home!)...Overall the month was going great.

I made some new friends but noticed I was losing a couple of old ones too....to moves, to drama and/or to misunderstandings along the way....which left me briefly saddened and confused... but it all works as it's meant to -doesn't it?....Happy now reflecting back to what has to change sometimes to balance out all that doesn't...especially in relationship terms...I believe nothing is truly ever lost anyways regardless.

May- was also the month I turned vegan....I like to call myself a 'functional vegan' or '95 plus percent vegan' since I will sometimes make some exceptions....especially at social gatherings with options for chocolate cake or ice-cream......and/or especially if/when I'm out and hungry and lacking vegan options.... Ok! Admittedly guilty of being a food lover with lack of discipline sometimes I guess. ;-) Still 95 plus percent vegan it is and that my friends is a great thing out of this year for me! :-)



We miss our Sandy- She moved away to Montana

The breathtaking views from the Great Smokies in TN

Missing our soul sister Cristiana also! She too moved away in May from DC/MD
off to Singapore. Wishing her all the best too XO

JUNE

Ah! June! Sharp turns and maybe even pit falls here.

The foot problems persisted but I stubbornly ignored it and continued hiking....until unfortunately my foot gave up on me and I landed up in a brace limping daily for most of the summer....no more hikes, or gym, or yoga...etc. etc.....BIG YIKES!...Sometimes life just requires you to halt- Like it or not! If you ignore the signs...Well...the options kinda start to run out I guess.

My summer companion for nearly 4 months!!! Grrrr!!!

Lesson learned yet?= Do not ignore pain stubbornly? = Pay attention when your body speaks! Yup! Starting to get that! :-/

This is the last hike just before I found myself in a foot brace for the summer- *Shrug*  

Was a fun hike though with precious soul family for sure- David, Ghani,  Jojo, Lyndal, Shai-Lin- and some new folks :-)

So June started off sunny...and thank goodness for the people in our lives who bring us warmth regardless of the seasons

A MONTH FOR LOSS

Then came the biggest hit of the year.. the grief from  the loss of Basak's dad. For a bit- there was darkness in the middle of summer- but it lifted - as once again I was left in absolute awe of Basak and her family 's strength and grace even at this painful time. 

RIP Ates-We miss you <3

You see- another of my dear friends had lost their father earlier in April this year too- so it all started to weigh in heavy on my heart- It ached deeply from it's inability to protect loved ones from hurting...whether for the friend who was in mourning from the loss of a wedding/the broken promise of his fiance...to stepping back helplessly watching my soul family in mourning also over the loss of their first greatest true life superheroes. 

Loss and what matters

A difficult month all around! A close friend's home got hit by lightning and they lost everything they owned. They also however still inspired me in their perspectives as they focused in on their positive silver linings here too- that they and their sweet infant - Thank God- were unharmed....Blessings come in odd disguises after all. Then the aftermath- it was truly heartwarming to watch people coming together to help after. 

Life is like this...never up nor down too long- but always profound!

JUNE!! 

The foot brace meant no more hiking...which then meant...no hiding from whatever hurt...I was now left with time on my hands unaccounted for...which meant there was a lot of new stuff to do! Putting aside childish play I tried to focus on some grown up stuff... plans for the future...goals for myself...etc.. had to start paying closer attention to the not-so-fun responsibilities of life...or more importantly to the heavier stuff that also matters- Know what I mean?

Life goes on- with renewed emphasis on all that truly matters in the end

I decided this month demanded for another reunion! The significant stuff -right?... I flew out to Montreal just for a day, for a happy hour, to reunite with my old soul friends, folks I miss tons and hadn't seen in over two years. 

Sometimes there is just never enough time....so it's best not to wait for the right time to do something, to see someone, or to go somewhere- You know? A one-day trip to Montreal and back from DC then sounded crazy to some but perfectly logical to me. 

Hmmm...can't apply that everywhere though... if only...a trip to Turkey, India and Dubai...would be totally grand too to visit everyone I miss in my life...but more challenging to pull off. Oh well! We do what we can! 

Love and Miss these folks- in Montreal. <3 XO

JULY

I spent 4th of July with my soul sister Jojo who was determined to see the fireworks in downtown DC...but after settling into the crowds with lawn chairs, drinks and snacks...we got drenched and blown around by a DC style crazy storm so we split and rushed back home, going off our separate ways, her off to VA and me off to MD...But hours later.. when the storm passed however we were crazy enough to regroup and return Arnold Schwarzenegger style- we were back downtown to make it happen! Determination! Lol!

Fireworks in downtown DC!? CHECK! YAY!

Quality time with my precious birthday boy= Check <3 :-)

AUGUST

I realized 'soul family' truly means forever! Most magical part of August was going to my ex-sister-in-law's 20th wedding renewal ceremony in Martha's Vineyard. I was there for the original one too. Life has a way of bringing us full circle in some moments....this was nostalgic and healing in profound ways. The ceremony was beautiful and it reminded me that love is in fact always around us....whether we choose to see it or not....it is strong and it never leaves us.

The 20th Wedding Vows Renewal Ceremony
on a gorgeous day in Martha's Vineyard MA

SEPTEMBER

The month of transitions!!

Another big lesson I learned this month....(again... as in I should known this one already! Refreshers for the big ones!! Oh Well!! So- what happens when you allow people to keep disrespecting you?... Well it eventually catches up- is what!)= Stand up for what's right! Stand up for yourself and for others...no matter how confrontational or uncomfortable it may feel. ..because you pay the price regardless, cheaper sooner or steeper later whenever those situations arise. It's a test! Take it! Pass it!!

Then the transition! So you see- I truly believe in signs and they started to build up this month. It was time for me to take a 'leap of faith'! I left behind my job- my DC mother-ship as I used to call it- to start a new one with a company that my heart was drawn to deeply. Changing jobs for some is no biggie, but for me =BIGGIE!!! It was the right move though and I'm so grateful for the change and the strength and magical forces -including the support of close friends and family- that helped me with this transition.

A goodbye happy hour for me with my old company soul family that no pictures can truly capture
Heartfelt & Memorable Forever! Grateful!

AND 

I wish I had captured in pictures the new beginnings in September 2015.....My son had returned to a new year of school and I began at my new job at my new company

OCTOBER

So my favorite moments from October included the wedding of our friends PJ & Phyllis- who reignited for all of us who were fortunate to share their special day with them- hope and faith in romance, true love and all that sweet stuff. Was truly an amazing union of two deeply connected soul mates. <3

{AND- Speaking of budding love- some other very close soul family friend(s) found love this year too...I'm told that apparently these things happen fast when they do. Lol. More details for next blog I hope- ;-) But see!!?....}=

Love one way or another is omni-present <3

Favorite memories from October included: Small steps back- my return to hiking, finding time with and for dear friends -and of course -I always love Halloween!

Hiking with soul friend Ife

Hiking with soul friend Sal

Halloween Day Butterfly!? <3 :-)

My Halloween Teddy Bear <3 XO

Happy Halloween 2015!!

NOVEMBER

A planned kayak trip to Dismal Swamp went dismal at the start of the month. The remainder of the month took on a slippery dismal turn theme after. In the weeks following everything around felt rather muggy....I was feeling very lost and frazzled....until I realized my most poignant lesson of the year- or perhaps- everything this year just was leading me to it- not just self-realization but- SELF ACCEPTANCE!

Important Lessons in 2015 Include: Do not forget previous lessons in life! When you're tested- always opt to take the test! The more you drag it all out, the more you will pay for the lessons....just like at school and at university... same in Real LIFE!

Time to reconnect with soul family and hiking trails again finally...SIGH! EXHALED ME!

Grateful to all these amazing soul family friends for attending my birthday to celebrate another phenomenal year!

Our No-Cosby Thanksgiving tradition is richer than ever!
3rd year running strong!

Thanksgiving hike with 60+ new friends and also the soul family old friends <3

Thanksgiving plans in 2015 included for the first time in five years- my  precious soul family - ex-in-laws- my nephews and even my son and his dog <3 (My son usually travels away on Thanksgivings so this is an extra special treat this year)- A Precious gift I am incredibly thankful for <3
LIFE IS GOOD!!! GRATEFUL!!! 

DECEMBER

Like a classy martini- I am left feeling totally shaken, stirred and rather precious and strong this month. Life is good! It's been an incredibly significant year all around with some big lessons, big loses and big wins- THANKS 2015!

My precious soul sister Jojo moved away from DC to Boston this month! Miss her already. All the best Jojo!

One of the most peaceful Decembers in decades! Definitely a year I finally learned to listen to....ME. Finally understanding  how my childhood and past-life survival habits no longer serve me. Happy there's so much more to this journey. So much more growing left in me still. 

If I began this year feeling the need to return to my roots, to look more natural....Well this year is ending with a pretty authentic version of me radiating- both humbled and proud ....and why not! 

I accept that it's good to be just me! 

On XMAS Eve I saw a rainbow around the moon. A 'moon halo' it's called. 

How fitting for a year so poignant. Feeling blessed. 

BTW- Recently somebody asked me 'Hey- Do you still hike?' and I answered 'I will hike till I die so the right question is how many miles can I still do these days!' 

Hiking....Life....Connected...Everyone and Everything....Always CONNECTED! I believe! 

Some years I hike further than others but I'm always moving forward....We are ALL always moving forward- Growing, learning, living (I pray always-) a life inspired!!

THANK YOU- 2015! WELCOME 2016!

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU GUYS!!! 

Hiking at Tibet Knob in George Washington Forest on an unusually warm winter day with a bright, shinny, happy-go-lucky-soul friend- Ghani!

JOY INDEED!! :-)

LOVE & PEACE TO ALL!!
NAMASTE!!

Thank You 2015! Welcome 2016! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

 (Picture from the hike in the Smokies of TN)

Self-Acceptance!

Self-Acceptance! Sharing the most recent inspiration from my personal journey, hoping it helps someone else find themselves on their path too.

This one came at me like an unexpected storm on a bright sunny day! Totally catching me off guard!

You see- I pride myself...for better or worse....on being an open book....awkwardly so. Yet recently I realized that if you don't whole-heartedly accept who you truly are then how authentic can you really be!? Right!? BOOM! This was a huge realization for me!! 

BTW- What all goes into self-acceptance!? Is it related to self-love? Self-worth? Liking who you are as a person? About accepting your unique personality quirks? Is it about being gentle with your physical imperfections when looking into the mirror? Or is there more to it!? Geez! Until just a few days ago...I may have blabbered off responses theoretically but honestly what any of this really felt like...I couldn't possibly explain. So what if...deep down it has to do more with giving yourself permission to just be you...to not lose yourself in trying too hard to fit in someplace or with some person or people?....What if....it had to do with not pushing yourself to meet some idea of what you believe others need you to be.?....What if...it means...realizing that being different from others doesn't automatically mean you are wrong or any less valuable?... What if...it means...you need to get out of your own head....to begin to define 'you' for yourself!? Some people get here a lot sooner...but for others it's a life long process. For me...? Given a history of getting rejected by or separated from my loved ones through the years makes it trickier. 

So let me backtrack here...a few months ago I started a new job....with cool folks I really admire....so naturally I was all the more eager to please and fit in...BUT...I was trying too hard! Through a series of experiences however it started to catch up with me. I  made myself exhausted!!....You see- I got tired of trying to figure out what others wanted me to be and even tired of playing along my own ultra lame 'trying-to-be-non-intrusive' chameleon act....I even started to feel rather broken...Then again...I guess figuratively speaking I've been breaking off pieces of me inside constantly via endless efforts to not offend or intrude...as has always been my nature (...it turns out)...to conform, to change...and aim to please.

Well...just around now....in a perfectly timed vulnerable moment an intuitive new friend and colleague philosophically called me out on it- posing the question- 'So who is Anita?'- It had been one of those days...weeks!! I was feeling so run down!... Hmmm...like the Eminem song - 'Will the real slim shady please stand up!?'--YIKES!! I couldn't answer... let aside stand up!?  :-/

That was a Friday evening. When I finally got home I did something unconventional...for me...I drank an entire bottle of wine....(Yumm...but)...alone....and my night then got more interesting. A friend from three decades of separation reached out saying some kids from my past (now grown-ups obviously) were asking about me out of nowhere....so they added me to a mass-group-chat. I was separated from these kids over thirty years ago from India so most of us didn't remember each other. Group messages started avalanching in saying-'So who is Anita?'- Bizarre!! Kid-You-Not!! The Timing!!! It was obviously the theme of the day my drunken head rightfully registered! 'Anita!? Was she shy? Was she loud? Was she tall? Was she short? What was she like?' -The questions continued. What's more.....people started to post old black and white group photos asking 'where is she in these photos?'- WOW!!! Now vivid memories of a forgotten past in India started to emerge into my intoxicated head. It felt kinda surreal...just as there was a spark of recognition too I guess...as someone said 'Anita! Of course! The Math Genius!'- Wait!! I will stop here and detour again! 

You see -this made the very drunken grown up Anita start sobbing. It struck a chord! It touched upon some rather deep rooted issues...from that forgotten little ghost like Anita. Backtracking again- now let me explain- all through the years I had a very complex relationship with Math. Since early childhood I could  create new formulas that were not printed in any of the text books which baffled teachers and professors alike through school and university. I always effortlessly scored 100% in the subject...which is fantastic stuff right? Nope! It caused me much agony! My initial issues with it were minor like the more studious kids seemed resentful of my getting the top grades especially so easily so I felt badly about it...It did seem unfair! Then I struggled as some of my dearest loved ones so obviously and stubbornly dismissed all my grades and awards in it. My deepest issues however arose when I moved to the Middle East where it was really scorned upon by my new family for a girl to display intelligence in any way- especially in Math. This was when I officially decided to dummy myself down to appease the family. I was maybe ten back then. Years later when I moved to the US- even here in the land of dreams- I unfortunately found myself gravitating towards people....guys....with similar notions...that a girl shouldn't be good at Math. Done!

The 'Math genius' was then all but forgotten over the years....until here, out of nowhere, from my past.. on this night....when the first thing someone remembered about me again! 'Who is Anita!!?' HA! God-or-The Universe...has fantastic sense of humor and excellent sense of timing...Yup! I believe this! LOL!! It hit a chord for sure!!!

The crazy thing was that out of this I received my greatest inspirational message of the year! The answer I was finally ready to learn! It was suddenly so clear- even to my intoxicated head ....how the little Anita and the grown-up Anita still had a lot in common. I could see now how this deeply rooted need in me to please others and to quickly disown any or all of my core qualities in my efforts to be non-offensive or non-invasive...had actually landed me in many unhealthy relationships and bad situations over the years....and had eventually left me way too lost and broken to even know my true self....let aside to accept it. YIKES again!!!  

Self Acceptance! Sounds simple....but takes effort. That same night I also received a call from an ex. He wanted me to know how in his own odd ways maybe I was never rejected by him after all. That oddly themed energy flowed into the remainder of that weekend too. I landed up in a Kundalini intro-workshop where the messages again resonated crystal clear- Self-Acceptance!

(The kicker of all this was seeing that in allowing myself to be me....in the end...that was the key to making others also more comfortable with me. Go Figure!!).

Life is a blessing! Learning to live life inspired...that's my motto! When I come upon lessons this poignant...I'm inspired to share. After having spent most of my life in some bubble after another....I've finally learned the importance of being present....to enjoy the time gifted to me. I realize now that in the last five years I  have grown tremendously from finding my freedom and myself....to now learning also to accept and honor whom I am discovering within me. Grateful to the universe for it's fun and crafty teachings.

Thank you for reading and I hope this leaves you honestly answering for yourself similar reflective questions-'Who am I? Am I ok with being me? Can I find that harmonious balance...between being the best me without compromising all or most of me to get there?' 

As for me- my current mantra is (Feel free to use it!):

I promise daily to work on being true to the essence of me and honoring what I find within me! 

Wishing you the same! 

NAMASTE!! LOVE & PEACE!! 

FIND YOUR BLISS!! XO <3

Leap of Faith!

I had a few key defining moments that changed the course of my life completely! It always involved massive leaps of faith.

(Found on trendhunter.com. In love with this!!)

The first high impact one was when I was about eight years old. This I actually didn’t have a say in. My estranged mother who had lived away abroad through most of my childhood suddenly plucked me out of my life in India from family and friends to live with her in the Middle East. It was initially proposed as a summer vacation where I would have the opportunity to visit the country where she resided. She was a beautiful enigma I’d always fantasized living and sharing my life with so I was thrilled at the prospect initially but the vacation didn’t go quite as planned. Soon it became evident that I wasn’t going to be sent back home. Being separated unexpectedly and without proper goodbyes from everything and everyone I had ever known to live with new folks (albeit my biological mother and her husband in a foreign country) was terrifying to say the least.

The second dramatic one came when I was seventeen. This time I had a say in my fate! There were many high risk moving factors to contemplate over as my mother disclosed her intent and covert mission to help transport me away from my oppressive circumstances in the Middle East to the far off mystical world of the U.S.-of-A. I was given an opportunity to go off to university in New York City. It was complicated however. The stakes were incredibly high, the prospects were definitely dangerous and far more importantly I was at a crossroad- where I needed to choose to leave behind everything and everyone I knew to start over in a new country half way across the world all by myself once again. Not easy but I jumped in determined to take my chances for better or for worse!

(Found on Photo.net-The Dream!)

Ah! Choices! There were a few other big ones in my years to follow. At the age of twenty two with my heart, soul and logic all in complete and utter turmoil I struggled over another massive decision…this time it involved signing a marriage contract..... not under traditional circumstances.... and one that was to be kept secret from my friends and family. A secret that was eventually disclosed....still no simple step. Then another fourteen years later I made the even bigger call to escape out of that contract. I walked away strangely enough in a brand new place I’d never lived in before, all alone....in shock but clutching on gratefully to a new job offer in hand. I had no pieces to pick up….just a new life to begin from scratch again! That last fight was definitely the toughest in many ways but also the most rewarding.

In fact each of those grand shifts in my path presented their own challenges and rewards over the years and it is only now that I am finally able to understand and accept that there is no justification for regrets left inside me. It's all good!

So leaps of faith I’ve taken a few! Each one terrifying! Each one luckily landing me on solid ground one way or another….concluding that risks have eventually worked out in my favor regardless or so I believe!

With all this practice it baffles me however that I can still find myself clinging on to things or people that no longer serve me. Why? It always comes down to fear! In fact fear is the strongest obstacle to overcome in this lifetime it seems and the one hook that consistently keeps us from venturing off in search of our own true horizons….where our realities and our dreams can harmoniously collide into some deeper and more meaningful understanding of our existence I guess….umm…do you know what I mean? Lol! I do hope so! I am left pondering over this often!

(Found on artinspire.info)

Fear is a survival instinct and should be honored but it’s not like we live in jungles where wild animals pick us up for dinner randomly….as in our habitats and lifestyles have evolved but our basic survival instincts have those evolved with us too I am left wondering.…!?….How can you know for sure when exactly your survival instincts are working for you versus against you!?  

So here is the question- When you arrive at crossroads in life where a drastic decision is required of you….how do you decide if it’s time to take a leap of faith or not….knowing that the risks are too great but the rewards potentially greater? At the very core of our human experience this ability alone determines the true nature of our path…the ability to know when to jump, when to run, when to hold your ground, when just to be and when to be something so much more…. than you have ever already defined within yourself for yourself- Know what I mean? I have faith that the odds are always working in our favor. Risks can often bring great rewards- Right!? So perhaps it’s good to take a big leap of faith whenever it presents itself on our path- No?

Wishing everyone amazing experiences whether taking a leap of faith or not-Now and always!

Namaste!

(Found on theawakenedstate.tumblr.com)

#FREE YOURSELF! #FIND YOUR BLISS!

#NAMASTE!!

Life is short!

Life is short! Heard this for all my years but often pondered on the depth of that meaning aimlessly! One day we wake up to the truth that time is really the most irreplaceably fabulous gift granted to us.

I remember during childhood years countdowns to long awaited occasions inevitably felt like a lifetime; some days couldn’t pass fast enough while others flew by in the blink of an eye. In fact looking back now so much of the past is a blur to me yet so much more has remained almost tangibly vivid and timeless too. I can sometimes stop and watch my past years flashing before me like a silent movie and I’m left feeling nostalgic, overwhelmed and even sometimes detached from it…like a distant phantom spectator.

It’s only recently that the actual concepts of time and mortality are sinking in properly and deeply into my psyche….perhaps it’s a build up from losing loved ones, to compiled experiences of vulnerability, to becoming more aware of an increased sense of responsibility towards loved ones or even just from getting older I guess…but regardless there is this increasing sense of clarity on the subject. I’m left grappling over finding that delicate balance in accepting and letting go of what has run out of its course.…versus both treasuring and discovering new ways to best honor our precious finite moments here and now.   

Yesterday I decided to try out a new exercise…to free myself from me! I shut down my brain’s dialogues…to let go of who I choose to be and I allowed myself to just be…and gravitate towards anything or anyone without judgement (of self or others) or even to not allow in fear on any level….watching and wondering where that would lead and who would I be if I lived without expectations from myself or others…? I followed my day with my heart….not holding back. Yes-it turned out to be a good and insightful day!

It brought me to the conclusion that it’s necessary to have boundaries and a clear understanding of what I want and don’t want….but just as critical to keep re-evaluating my belief systems over the years.…..to update my take on things..to understand what truly matters in the end.  It’s important over the years I guess to rewrite and update your definition of all things including yourself without the baggage of yesterday's knowledge.

I once heard a great man say that we need to place ourselves in danger sometimes to discover the real magic within (I believe I got that message from one of my heroes’ Conrad Anker’s talk given that I understood the message correctly of course…? ;-) Lol!)….I guess sometimes this could mean skydiving out of a plane, or climbing a mountain, or whatever else….just finding new ways of pushing ourselves past all our comfort zones….and then again perhaps sometimes it could mean nothing more than to truly free ourselves from all inner fears and judgements, to follow our heart somewhere without questioning it….and then perhaps just maybe….with some luck…it could show us things truly grand and beautiful along the way. 

Cheers to choosing to live life fully and a bit dangerously too! Namaste! Love & Peace to ALL! XO

 

Upgrade or Settle!?

Recently I find myself pondering over just how much our overly commercialized culture here in the US pushes towards constant upgrades versus settlements. In fact the very word ‘settling’ carries so much baggage, social judgement and negative connotations already. I’m left wondering how much we’ve internalized this way of thinking and at what point does it define who we are as individuals even?

Window shopping is a way of life for us….keep looking and keep buying knowing you can get fully refunded if you change your mind-Right? & The choices are endless and tempting! After all who doesn’t want to keep believing there’s something bigger and better waiting for us just around the corner.…just there for the taking…the bigger house, the fancier car, the more satisfying job, the better lover…and even the better you! We’re seemingly always a few steps away from making it all a bit more perfect-No?

Regardless there is little need for commitments in our lives since so much is ok to return if we’re not 100% satisfied-Right? Culturally there is even the fall back option for suing when things don’t go as promised. Of course for me this begs the question that does this constant chase for something else leave us ever actually truly satisfied? When we get what we want do we stop to enjoy it or do we feel the anxiety buildup inside egging us to run away before feeling trapped or suffocated by the ‘great’ only to risk losing the ‘greater’ that is perhaps elsewhere waiting for our picking? 

During my travels to other countries and cultures sometimes this difference in folks around me is almost palpable; I have to say I see less of this need to keep the search constantly going. People seem to be actually ‘settling’…(Imagine that!)….for the beautiful house, the fancy ride or that amazing significant other and they seem thrilled and grateful to have gotten there. They don’t seem to feel the need to continue looking for more once they’ve reached their important goals and needs. They seem instead to nurture, grow and cherish on what they have already built….to make a home, to create a family, to strengthen their relationships with friends and neighbors; I see folks care for and truly relish on what they have accomplished. Is that such a terrible thing? 

Beyond just my speculation in the presence of such folks it’s hard not to enjoy a shared energy of happiness and contentment that they have mastered via settling….they seem to approach life in strides peacefully accepting the ups and downs also as part of their journey with the loving support of a strong network of loved ones around them that they have invested in mutually. Seems this definitely leaves them with more space within for something grander….to be present and to actually enjoy the moment they are in perhaps.

I realize that the rat race will always go on with or without us. Sometimes it totally makes sense to jump in and run with it, to find our place or mark in it too….but perhaps it’s also important to know when not to lose sight of the original goal within the mayhem-No!?

For me it took the sudden death of a parent to separate what matters from what’s just distractions along my path….for everyone else out there I send out prayers always to get us all there to what matters sooner and easier.

Find your Chi! Namaste! XO

Learning-Living-Life-Inspired! <3 XO :-)

About the Giving Tree

The Giving Tree. ....I read that book to my son a few years ago. It was my first time reading it. It left me disturbed when it was done. My son was very upset by it too.  It resonated so deeply for me because all my life I was taught in my upbringing to be just like that hopeless and naive tree always giving completely without holding back or ever complaining about it even as it’s being stripped away towards a seemingly bitter end and being totally cool with it. - But is that really what it means to be a good person!!? I no longer agree with it!!

I still believe that true happiness lies in giving and putting others ahead of me....but I've changed in the last few years and so has my perspective. I now believe in giving and getting respect, in setting healthy boundaries that allow me to grow while being the best I can be for myself and for others. I see clearly now that by being true to myself and taking care of me I actually have more to give back after all.

Sometimes in life we find ourselves in situations or around people who are toxic for us. These are people who will attack us even for our finest core qualities, belittling us and clouding our better judgement. I've been there too often in life not realizing it's OK to acknowledge my own needs and feelings since I was too preoccupied with pleasing others and fearing rejection from the masses. You see being the people pleaser I am by nature and nurture this left me in my past much like that giving tree too often too broken and too stumped with nothing left to offer anyone. No not me no more!!

I have learned since to stand up for me and to not justify those who cause me harm whether their behavior results from obvious ill will or from careless oblivious intentions. You see I no longer do things to be a people pleaser; I now do things for people because it pleases me to do so. In caring for myself I have learned the art of better caring for others. I honor the spaces in me that demand untangling from hurt and chaos.

I am grateful that I have learned to give and operate within healthy boundaries and even more grateful to benefit from the fruits of this priceless understanding already. I wish someone had told me this earlier on my journey but then again it’s never too late to learn the great lessons. I pray for others to learn this much faster and easier than I did. Respect yourself! Be true to you!

Namaste!! Love, Peace and Light to ALL. XO <3