Confusion-Unfused!

I found myself asking: Are some things really simple but that I just don’t want to understand….or is it that some things are just too confusing to ever understand? Do you know what I mean?

You see I'm blessed with wise friends who give great guidance and I'm also blessed with an inner voice that stumbles upon answers naturally so I can afford to save time and money in therapy. Lol! ;-) Well in this case as I pondered over my situation and dilemma this is the answer self-therapy led to:

So it’s not about if things are simple or not! It’s about a willingness (or lack of) to see things for what they really are….and letting go of what we think we know…..and when something turns out to be other than what was envisioned or desired… it is the disappointment that creates the road block to move past....towards accepting what is. 

Eureka! Like standing in front of a field looking at it from behind a rock but through a tiny little tainted peep-hole drilled through that rock.... our vision is so eschewed by our needs and biases….and our wanting to control the outcome… that when it doesn’t go our way we find a part of us throwing a full blown tantrum like a spoiled child…refusing to accept that the keyhole view did not paint the complete picture but was merely a fragment at best. 

AHA!! But wait a minute!!!! That field is still wide open all around the rock- just waiting to be discovered and enjoyed! So-time to stop mulling over a tainted view that makes no sense! 

Time to play! ;-) 

P.S. I share this hoping it serves someone else well too. Enjoy all that there is!! Namaste!! :-)

EMOTIONS!

Yesterday I went to see my acupuncturist (for those who don’t know what that is it’s a healer and yes it involves getting these tiny needles poked into you but no it doesn’t hurt…..I used to think that it looked unimaginably uncomfortable until I finally tried it-And Man! I have seriously been hooked since!). My acupuncturist is this really cool guy probably half my age yet he has this ageless Buddha like calming all-knowing energy about him……and he kind of looks like a young Bob Marley which always makes me smile in his presence. He is a true healer in every sense of the word. When I sit in that chair and he asks me in his soft soothing voice what do I think I need help with today I inevitably feel like a little kid saying ‘I have a booboo here and a booboo there….’ sitting there all pouty and looking for help and I swear no-matter what the ailment whether I land up saying ‘I haven’t slept in ten days and the insomnia is making me drop things all over the place’….or ‘I am in love with someone I don’t want to be in love with-HELP!!’.…..or ‘my IT band is a wreck and I’ve been having trouble working out….’or ’my neck is stiff and my wrists hurt from my desk-job’…..no-matter what ails me he seems to have the right Band-Aid on hand for it. I always walk away feeling anew -with new perspective, feeling totally refreshed or healed somehow.….it is AMAZING!!

So yesterday I sat there and when he asked me what ails me I struggled for words to explain it…’everything feels off’ I said…’it’s as if all my emotions are trapped in bits and pieces all over the place at different points in my body and I feel totally chaotic inside….’ Is what I came up with finally? So he said ‘ok so if your emotions are all trapped inside what would you like me to do with it?’ ….WHAT!!!? I looked at him so lost as I said ‘I don’t know…’ and he said ‘would you like to feel all those emotions or make them go away?’- OK WOW!!! What a concept!!! Right!!!!? It was too loaded a question for me to even process fast enough to answer so I said ‘you decide for me; what do you think I should do with it?’ He gazed out of the window at the rain which was coming down pretty hard and he said ‘someone I look up to said to me –emotions are there to be felt’ and then he looked back at me quietly and I got it! So simple and so profound! Emotions are there to be felt! Nothing more and nothing less!! WOW!!!

Ah! If you’re wondering what I chose for my ‘Band-Aid’ at this stage….I said ‘Ok! Bring it on! Make me cry it all out or whatever!’ And if you’re still curious to ask how I felt during and after the treatment…..Well! I fell into a deep sleep for half hour after those needles were placed so carefully from head to toe on me….and when I awoke I felt like a brand new person ready to let the big and small waves come crashing at me and knock me down…knowing I’m strong enough for it…..knowing it was going to be ok to feel everything and just let it all in. I felt refreshed and exhausted all at once. Then I found myself crying the next morning but not from sadness or pain….just from an overwhelming sense of energy release; Not a bad feeling…except it came after I’d dabbed on the mascara…but that’s ok….raccoon eyes can be cleaned up and retouched.;-) Lol! 

Such an important lesson! I’ve struggled with it repeatedly in life and have to be careful not to forget! Emotions are not there to run away from, to hide away in some dark abyss inside us….when they show up perhaps it’s best to just stop to let them in and acknowledge them. Emotions are there to be felt! Love it!!! Like the heavy rain yesterday and the bright sun shining at us today…..It’s ALL GOOD!!

P.S. My acupuncturist since many of you have asked is: 
Farris Johnson @ OurSpace Acupuncture

www.ourspaceacupuncture.org